Our Approach to Family Violence

Family violence and abuse is about power and control. It can include emotional, physical, sexual, financial, spiritual or cultural abuse. Abusers use power and control to hurt someone, make someone feel badly and diminish their dignity.

Abuse can be about physical assaults, but it can also be about humiliation and attacking the spirit of the victim. When a victim reaches out for support from a friend, employer, police, neighbour or other, the response they receive is the most important determinant to whether or not they continue to seek help today, and in the future.

When a victim feels they are being heard, believed and supported, they are more likely to reach out when they need help. Given that less than half of Calgarians experiencing family violence never speak to anyone about their abuse, it is important when someone comes forward that you encourage and support them to get the help they say they need.

Unfortunately, sometimes the response the victim receives is not supportive and causes significant distress. Ignoring signs of abuse, telling victims what you think they should do, negating the abuse, or other ways of reacting to a plea for help, can be interpreted as unsupportive, laying blame or diminishing the abuse – all which can become a barrier to the person who desperately needs your help.

The Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter works hard to create a compassionate environment for women and their children so they can get the help they need. Our community education program provides individuals like you with information and tips on how to support family, friends, neighbours and colleagues who may turn to you for assistance. We want to ensure that you are able to start the conversation and create a caring environment to help end family violence and abuse.

Starting the conversation about family violence can also create opportunities for individuals who want to end their controlling behaviors. The Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter offers individual and group counselling to assist men on their journey towards a life free of abuse.

Our philosophy centers on the innate strengths of victims and perpetrators and is often referred to as a response-based approach to counselling. It is a proven method that continues to show significant results in helping to end family violence and abuse in our community.

The foundation of this philosophy is contained in the beliefs of the Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter:

• We believe violent and abusive behaviour is a deliberate choice.
• We believe individuals who are treated badly resist abuse in ways that protect their safety or maintain their dignity.
• We believe all individuals have inherent strengths and abilities.
• We believe family violence and abuse impacts the entire community.
• We believe all individuals have a right to live in a home free from actual or threatened violence and abuse.

Response-based organizations, like the Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter, focus on restoring dignity to victims and providing a safe place for perpetrators to make changes. We invite others to join the conversation about family violence and abuse to reduce the stigma and contest societal attitudes that blame victims and mitigate perpetrator responsibility.

If everyone gave positive responses when discussing family violence and abuse, both victims and perpetrators would be more likely to ask for help, accept the help that is given and make the changes necessary to build healthy relationships and communities.

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